oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
