matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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