why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
