Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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