Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
