put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
