just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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