im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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