Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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