Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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