That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
