I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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