she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
