He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
His hands were made for my vagina.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
