I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize