Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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