Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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