That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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