answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
