I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
