I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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