We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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