Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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