But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
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but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
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I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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