I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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