shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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