so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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