Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
you made out with another girl for some wings
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
