My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Don't tell me you're on acid again
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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