it was like his penis was on wheels.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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