before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize