Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
