are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
