He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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