I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Randomize
