the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
