i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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