Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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