I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
