I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
