Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
