You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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