So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
