there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
