I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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