If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
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As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder