wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
