sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby