at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
