Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
