i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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