I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
