But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
did i walk over a car last night?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
