Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
