Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
