yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
