my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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