I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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