Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize