she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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