he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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