My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
