He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
