Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
