the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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