The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize