she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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