dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.