hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Come back. Shots need mouths.