I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
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MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax