No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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