Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
