Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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