Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
