ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
